At present, urban families in China are in the whirlpool of transition from traditional to modern or even postmodern, which has a huge impact on family structure and family ethics, and family conflict inevitably accompanies. Based on Pan's theory of Adaption, this paper analyzes the cultural connotation behind the conflict of urban family relationship, and puts forward ways to resolve the conflict and build a harmonious family relationship. At the individual family level, family members should improve their selfcultivation to reach a consensus. At the community level, the maintenance mechanism of community culture should be established to strengthen the construction of family harmonious culture. At the national level, it is necessary to provide value guidance and institutional support for families from the perspective of ideology and social policy