In the intelligent media era, the elderly group generally faces dilemmas of digital inclusion, including weak basic digital operation skills, insufficient information identification ability, and a lack of in-depth participation. Based on media literacy theory, this study defines digital literacy as a derivative form of media literacy in the digital society, and constructs a three-dimensional analytical framework covering basic operation, cognitive criticism, and practical empowerment. By introducing Giddens’ structuration theory, it reveals that the generative dilemma of digital literacy among the elderly results from the superposition of multiple factors: structural exclusion in technology supply, imbalance in the online information environment, absence of the social support system, and activation of individual psychological defense mechanisms. These four factors transmit sequentially and reinforce each other cyclically, forming a self-reinforcing closed loop. Accordingly, a systematic improvement mechanism with multi-stakeholder collaboration among the government, platforms, society, families, and individuals is proposed. At the level of technology supply, it advocates abandoning utilitarian transformation and promoting full-process age-friendly native design, realizing the transformation from “late adaptation” to “source design”. At the level of information environment, it calls for advancing the good-governance of algorithms, breaking information cocoons, regulating platforms’ implicit value extraction, and expanding the discourse power of the elderly in the digital public sphere. At the level of social support, it emphasizes improving institutional safeguards, activating intergenerational digital feedback within families, and optimizing public service supply. At the individual psychological level, it focuses on providing psychological counseling and empowerment, reshaping the elderly’s digital self-identity, and stimulating their subjective initiative. This study aims to eliminate intergenerational communication barriers through multi-dimensional governance, help the elderly achieve a digital transformation from passive adaptation to active integration, and provide theoretical references and practical paths for building active aging and an inclusive digital society.